I, Pagan Child (a poem)

Dear Lightbeings,

As the old slime of our lives surfaces to be released, i felt my inner child was begging to be given a voice. That child which was so well conditioned to believe in the rigidity of religion and to not ask questions. I give her a voice now in the poem below which i wrote in a flurry of frustration and passion. Enjoy!


"I, Pagan Child"

Oh do not ask me to weep, as if weeping were atonement for my sins.
And sins you call them?
What? Not mistakes that a child must make for the sake of growth?
Am I not allowed that, the gentle hand that assures my step?
And if I fall, must I then fall again for falling?

And why must I pray?
So that my soul be saved?
I do not even know if I have a soul.
And from whence does it come?
God? I do not even know if I know he exists.
How can you make me decide and then decide which of my deeds are sins to atone for?

And wait! Yes, all is rushing! All is rushing!
Too much, too fast!
Halt, I say, before I pull my hair with this working!
Yes, can I not be a child, and just play?
Must I think before I say, and in saying, think before I say again?
Is that not all too much? To correct and connect that which is long past and forgotten?

Is not the moment all there is?
No past, no memory, and no future?
Just now, and just now, are these not all moments?

I remember moments.
The muted noise that was suspended in mother’s womb.
The lively deadness that is sleep.
The awakeness of dreaming.
And the eternity of an embrace.
Is not that all there is?
It must be, for that is all I remember.
Memory is for moments, and because of that, I know that there is nothing.
And even nothing is a moment-
The eternal moment: nothing.

I do not know if I believe God exists, as you tell me.
But if God is in a moment, then in a moment I know he does.


So dear ones, i hope you will listen to your inner (pagan) child for wisdom, clarity, or just to let it all out!

Blessed be,
Angel Goddess AurorA